Making Movies

I am obsessed with the movie industry. I realized that now. No normal job really interests me, but I find every aspect of movie making interesting. I watch the extras and "making of" parts of my DVDs and for that moment I am deeply inspired. Then it comes to an end, and I realize it isn't practical and hide those thoughts deep in the back or my subconscious till the next time. I go through my day writing scripts in my mind. At night I can't sleep and instead come up with the structure of an entire movie along with the main power scenes and how to get there. These thoughts pass and the entire thing is eventually forgotten. I figure in most cases it is better off, considering the thoughts are coming from times when I am lying in bed and can't sleep, desperately attempting to turn my brain off.
I watch movies...Comedy, Drama, Action. I watch the actor and wonder "If I truly became dedicated could I become good at that." I watch a movie for the first time through innocent eyes. It is the best time not knowing what will happen, experiencing everything like I am there. Getting so into a movie that it doesn't matter if it is on a tiny screen with distorted volume and static. It doesn't' matter about the talking around me and the traffic driving by. On the rare occasions where a move is that good it still seems like you are there experiencing it all first hand while drowning out the real world. Later I watch the movie again through the eyes or a writer, again through the eyes of a director, and again through the eyes of an actor. I pick it apart piece by piece. It is like listening to a song where you focus in on one instrument and the rest fades to the background, then focusing on something different the next time you hear it. I do all this being critical, viewing in amazement, and trying to figure out what it is about each scene that makes it what it is. I start seeing the world through different eyes. Every event can be written about. How would I change this and that? Could I play that part?
I having reoccuring scripts and roles in my mind. Some stories fade away faster than others. Then I snap back to reality and leave it all behind...Because it's not practical.
Abilities can be developed, but so much of what you can do is who you know.
It's not practical.