None Meaningful Drival

I have so much meaningful stuff in my head sometimes. So many stories, memories, points of view, realizations, and feeling. Stuff that is truly me. Every time I am about to type some of it out or share it to the world some how I stop myself. This blog is a place I felt I could actually get some of this stuff out originally but I never do. Why??? I don't know. For every action there is a reaction and I guess in many cases I fear that. Like with many people I keep a lot bottled up for a reason. A lot of what I have to say I know definitely can't say it hear. I am a different person to different people, and much of what I want to say now and then I feel I may be able to say to select people depending on the topic but I should definitely hide it from others. There is so little that I am willing to completely share with the everyone, or even just close friends for that matter. I fear what could happen because it is important to me. Even if I knew that only good things could come from saying something and that it is truely just me, I still would question saying it because I would feel exposed.
What is there to get out of all of this? I have a lot to share. Deep things. But I am not going to. At least not right now. It is probably not what you think...No I don't have any deep secrets I am hidding. It is just that the content of this blog seems to be more of me hiding myself than actually sharing things right now. I should try to fix that at least a little...but I can't. Not right now. I fear who it might hurt, or help, or what it might reveal about me. I fear this, but I also fear that I am fake to so many people so often that any part of who I really am may get lost and forgotten. What is their to do? Type up a bunch of what appears to babble and realize that no one really cares. Then go read a book till morning.
Does anyone else find it odd that the word "Blog" isn't in a blog spell check?